I feel like I'm in dance class right now
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
We left the knife in your bed.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
