Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
