wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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