I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
This is my gift to your gina
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
