i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
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