He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
