It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Randomize
