now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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