My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Two words: blizzard sex
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
