Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize