omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize