Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
