OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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