'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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