im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize