wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
