Will you blow on my dice?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
