I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
