nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Randomize
