My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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