You're so nebulous sometimes
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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