can we get nightvision for the apartment?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Randomize