just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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