fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize