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The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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