im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
