i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
and she was petting her beer can
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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