He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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