farters have to be the big spoon...
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Dick very happy bro
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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