I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
