Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
