you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
