dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
