Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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