My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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