You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
