Quick, to the slutcave!
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
