Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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