I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
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