I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
he thought i was a dude.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
