One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
