i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
