I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
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