I'm drive I can fine osifer
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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