I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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