I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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