did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
