I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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