Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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