Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
