It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
