38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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