We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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