So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
