This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
