Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Randomize
