someone threw a dead crab at me
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize