Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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