Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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