I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
